"What's A Tortoise?" "Ever see a Turtle Leon? Same idea."

Its time for another one of Sergio Leone And The Infield Fly Rule's Cinematic Voight Kampff test. I have yet to be asked about my Mother but its still a lot of fun.

1) William Demarest or Broderick Crawford?

I’d have to go with Crawford. You can’t argue with Jowls like that.

2) What movies improve when seen in a state of altered consciousness? (Patrick Robbins)

An Altered state helps smooth over some of The Fountain’s sillyness while framing its magesty. But I think its underrating that film to term it a Stoner Movie. Oddly enough one of my favorite movies to watch in an Altered State is The Aviator. I don’t know if Improved is the right word, but the opulence of that film, relaxed pace, and occasional bracing bits of style make it a blast to watch.








3) Favorite studio or production company logo?

I’d don’t know if it counts but I basically have a Pavolovian reaction to the Janus film logo.

4) Celeste Holm or Joan Blondell?

Blondell. Nightmare Alley.

5) What is the most overrated "classic" film? (Tony Dayoub)

One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest and Lolita both annoy me. The first because it takes everything interesting and difficult in Kesey’s book and throws it away. The second because, its to borrow from Ebert, your basic Dog walking on hind legs scenario. Just because one is surprised to see it done at all does not mean it is being done well.

6) What movie do you know for sure you saw, but have no memory of seeing? (Patricia Yokoe Cozzalio)

Hmm… No clue.

7) Favorite Hammer Film?



Brides Of Dracula. By Far. Its hallungetic, gorgeous, kinky, Basically everything I want from a Hammer film.

I do have to give a special jury prize to Captain Kronos Vampire Hunter (The K makes it sexy). Which is totally ridiculous and totally awesome.



8) Gregory Itzin or Joe Pantoliano?

Pantoliano, hands down. He may be guilty of over extending the brand, but no ones more dependable for a despicable scumbag. And Teddy in Memento remains a righteous performance.

9) Create a double feature with two different movies with the same title. No remakes. (Peter Nellhaus)

Off by a letter but I can’t help but go with Trick R’ Treat last years fun Creepshow Homage paired with Trick or Treat, the heavy metal horror movie featuring both Gene Simmons and Ozzy Osbourne.

10) Akiko Wakabayashi or Mie Hama? (Ray Young)

Mie Hama beat Diana Rigg to the punch. That and she also played a character named Madame Piranha in King Kong Returns. Which would give anyone a leg up.

11) Can you think of a (non-porn) movie that informed you of the existence of a sexual act you had not known of prior? (Bob Westal)

The only things that come to mind are comedies.

“What’s a ZJ?”

“If you have to ask. You can’t afford it.”

12) Can you think of a black & white movie that might actually improve if it was in color? (Patrick Robbins)

Once again I don’t know if improved is the right word, I just know that every time I watch an Ozu color film, I’m sad that there aren’t more.

13) Favorite Pedro Almodovar Film?

Volver. Cruz has never been lovelier.

14) Kurt Raab or Udo Kier?

Oh that’d be Kier for sure and certain. If only for the moment where he feeds his guts through the projector in the underrated Cigarette Burns.

15) Worst main title song (Peter Nellhaus)

Die Another Day. Which Manages to be the worst Bond Theme in a category that includes a Sheena Easton song.

16) Last movie you saw in a theater? On DVD, Blu-ray or other interesting location/format?

Theater: How To Train Your Dragon (meh)
DVD: Blue Collar (Schrader)

17) Favorite movie reference within a Woody Allen movie? (Larry Aydlette)


Any from Love And Death. If I had to sum up Allen’s career in one image it would be his riff on Bergman’s dance of death at the end of the film.


18) Mary Astor or Claudette Colbert?

There’s something in Colbert that makes you want to protect her. There’s something in Astor that looks as though it never needed to be protected.
Take your pick.

19) Favorite trailer (provide YouTube link if possible)?

I love The Gangs Of New York Teaser Trailer. Much better then the film’s clumsy trailer and makes better use of Horner’s Charging Fort Wagner, then Glory ever did.

20) Oddest double bill you either saw or saw listed in a theater?

I came of movie going age after the fall of the double bills. Much less the really odd Double Bills.

That said I made a pretty good one for myself when I saw Bad Lieutenant Port Of Call New Orleans and The Princess And The Frog back to back.

http://thingthatdontsuck.blogspot.com/2010/01/bad-lieutenant-port-of-call-new-orleans.html

21) Favoite Phil Karlson film?

I’m going to have to go for the obvious one, with Walking Tall.

22) Favorite “social problem” picture?

I still say Stone’s Natural Born Killers is an underrated movie. Sure its overwrought. Its made by Oliver Stone. But it’s points about how we react to violence by safely cloaking ourselves in moral outrage hit a lot closer to home then it gets credit for.

23) Your favourite Harryhausen film/monster? (Ali Arikan)

Skeletons man. Skeletons.

(Skeletons)

24) What was the first movie you saw with your significant other? (Patrick Robbins)

I’m currently single (shocking I know). My last SO and I met at a Cirio Santiago double feature at the New Bev.

25) John Payne or Ronald Reagan?

John Payne as he was presumably not responsible for deregulating big business, throwing insane people out on the street, and ignoring the spread of AIDS.

26) Movie you feel a certain pressure or obligation to see that you have not yet actually seen

Almodvar. I’ve seen some of his movies but have always sort of ignored him because of his Anti Catholicism. Now that, as Jack Nicholson put it in The Departed, “The Confessional Seal is a little iffy these days. I have less reason not to see it.

Also Goddard, but I’m more annoyed at that pressure. I’ve seen Band Of Outsiders, and Alphaville, and Weekend and I still just plain don’t care. I’m glad he made Breathless but that was fifty years ago. I haven’t been glad he’s made a movie since.

27) Favorite “psychedelic” movie (Hey, man, like, define it however you want, man…)

If bad trips count I’d say Alan Parker’s The Wall.

Gotta love Gerald Scarfe





28) Thelma Ritter or Eve Arden?

Ritter. My love for Pickup knows no bounds. The whole Rear Window and The Misfits thing doesn’t exactly hurt either.

29) Favorite iconic shot or image from a film?

John Wayne clutching his arm, before leaving civilization forever in The Searchers.

30) What is the movie that inspired the most memorable argument you ever had about a movie?

Hmm… this is tougher then it sounds. I have entire friendships that are basically long memorable arguments about the movies. And there was the time when I had an argument with a customer over a hundred and forty dollar late fee for Fritz The Cat and she beat up a strangers Vespa outside which she for some reason thought was mine. But I don’t know if it counts.

The most memorable argument I had though wasn’t about a specific movie. It’s more centered around the way the argument went down. It was with a friend of a friend, who I was annoyed with. One of those film geeks who doesn’t really like other film geeks. We where talking I was a bit drunk, and I admittedly made some dumb lapses in logic trying to “beat” him.

Which led to me admittedly getting my ass semantically handed to me. It was kind of like that scene in The Color Of Money where Newman gets hustled by Whitaker. This dazed sense of “Wow did that just happen?”

At the end of the day though I think it was good for me. As the old timer’s say “It learned me.”

31) Raquel Torres or Lupe Velez?

Lupe Velez never captured Groucho’s heart.

32) Favorite adaptation of Shakespeare to a film?

I have a certain affection for Julie Taymor’s batshit crazy artschool representation of Titus Andronicus. But I think I’d either have to tip my hat to Polanski’s Macbeth, surely the most underrated and misunderstood film in his career, or McKellan’s Richard III.

33) Andy Warhol’s Frankenstein (in 3D)-- yes or no?

Haven’t seen it.

34) Favorite movie rating?

Pre PG-13 PG. It’s a mysterious rating. You genuinely never know what you’re about to see. Could be something Bambi safe, and there might be Blood and Tits galore. You just never know!

35) Olivia Barash or Joyce Hyser?

Olivia Barash.

36) What was the movie that convinced you your favorite movie genre was your favorite movie genre?

Don’t have one. Youu can’t make me pick between Chopin, The Beatles and The Ramones.

37) Favorite Blake Edwards movie?

You just can’t go wrong with A Shot In The Dark.