Dear Sweet Christ I'm Actually Seeing Red

Oh God, I don't know why I do it. Click on those little links to insipid MSN, stories when I check out my hotmail. I know that the moment I do I'll be hit in the face with a big ol' pile of stupid. But damn it I can't help it. For just one moment my brain snaps and I go "Hmm... what moronic, poorly thought out statements will be presented as pure fact this time?" Still even if the title reads "Ten Things Specifically Designed To Piss You Off." I'm most likely going to click it. And even if that was the title, I doubt it could do a better job then this little number.

http://movies.msn.com/movies/moviesfeature/dvd/critics/?GT1=28101


Part of me would like to think that this is some amazing bit of Andy Kaufmanesque satire. But no. I truly doubt that. It's shit like this that gives populism a bad name. Lord knows that I get as annoyed as anyone by the critical group think that sometimes takes over. But this dear God it refutes, the very idea of caring about movies.

I'm not going to go through this line by line, for fear that I might actually lose my Goddamn Mind, but I will offer a brief rebuttal.

Here it goes:

(Ahem)

"Dear Sweet Jesus I hate you people.

God Forbid someone cares about movies.

There is a special place in movie hell being reserved for you."

With Love,

EDJ.

But as Truffaunt said, (or is that too high faultin for you ass hats) "The best way to criticize is a film is to make another film." Therefore I'll criticize that little piece of soul destroyer, with this.

http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2008/09/critic_is_a_fourletter_word.html


Ahh, now doesn't that feel better?

EDIT: So it's quite possible I just made an ass out myself and it was a terrific bit of Anti Comedy (According to Jim Ermerson). I'm very tempted to remove this post but let it not be said I cannot take my lumps.


Next post I'm going to tell you all how horrible it is that John Swift wants us to eat Irish Babies.