THE RETURN OF 31 DAYS OF HORROR: #12 Friday The 13th Part 3

Ah Friday The 13th Part 3, my second favorite of the series. While it’s not quite pure blast of liquidy slasher goodness that is Friday The 13th Part 2. It’s an easy going, fun, slasher flick which goes slips on as easily as a comfy pair of slippers, bolstered by it’s 3-D effects (best watched in 2D, for maximum awesome), great cast of stock characters, awesome gore effects, some truly effective scare scenes and it’s ungodly great theme song.



God I love that thing.

The film opens, after a reusing the climax of Part 2, with Jason polishing off a white trash couple, Shrewish Mc Harpy and her mate Drunken The Doormat. It might be the first time that a Jason slashing could be qualified as a mercy killing. This couple is so horrifying that they seem to have emerged living and breathing from Patton Oswalts Stella Dorra Breakfast treats routine.



We’re introduced to the newest bunch of fodder to join the Crystal Lake Club. The characters show the biggest drop of quality for the series. While the previous movies showcased charismatic and likable, if none too deep, characters, the writing and acting has gotten a lot lazier. The characters are generic even for a Slasher movie, there’s The Horny Ones, A Couple Of Dirty Hippies, The Nerd, The Final Girl, and The Final Girl’s soon to be dead boyfriend. Oh and there’s some bikers, got to give them that, you don’t see those in every horror movie. Truth to tell the series never really recovered. Oh sure they brought out some weirdos for The Final Chapter, but from here on out, it’s all about the kills. Who survives is completely arbitrary. There’s nothing really special about the Final Girl, aside from an unnecessarily convoluted background. She survives by default. And as the ending suggests she’s gone crazy, Its tough to be surprised. She’s got nothing on Amy Steel.

They’re headed up by the infamous Shelly. The cackling annoying bridge troll who accidentally made Jason one of the most iconic boogeymen in cinema history. Shelly is of course, is one of the most annoying characters ever to appear in a horror movie. He’s neck in neck with even the dreaded Franklin. Though he does come down ultimately on the side of merely annoying rather then actively repulsive. So Franklin wins in the end. FRANKLIN ALWAYS WINS!

RESPECT

Anyway Shelly’s the one who ends up giving Jason the hockey mask, which coincides with him not being remotely scary anymore. So we’ve got that to hold against him to. Thanks a lot Franklin. Not only are you a painful to watch asshole who gives horror fans a bad name, but you ruined a great horror icon. I wish something bad would happen to you.



Ah there we go.

Anyway our merry crew make their way to a cabin on Crystal Lake, where they have a nice weekend, forge unbreakable bonds, and all learn a little something about themselves. Naw I’m just fucking with you, they end up getting butchered like swine. LIKE SWINE I TELL YOU!!! Ignoring a hobo wielding a severed eyeball (Not a typo) they go to the cabin, where drugs, alchol, sex, and murder are all done with abandon.

I feel like I’m coming down to hard on this movie, which I really do have a great deal of affection for. Like Part 2, it’s just such a pure slasher experience you can’t help but have fun. The atmosphere at the cabin is suitably eerie, and Director Miner was a cut above most of the other helmers, and manages to pull off some decent scare sequences, beyond the usual jump scares. Even the double fake out that ends the film is suitably creepy.

In a lot of ways I feel like this is the last great Friday The 13th. I know The Final Chapter is a fan favorite but it’s never done that much for me beyond Savini’s effects and Glover’s dance. The rest of the series is just to gimmicky for my tastes. I’ll have a good time while watching them (per my “Greater Friday The 13th Theorem elaborated on in my Nu Friday The 13th review) but I’ll often hate myself in the morning. Part 3 was the last to claim that special fear that comes from being in the woods and not being sure you’re alone.