Avenging Disco Godfather

There are movies that have to be seen to be believed. Then there is Avenging Disco Godfather, which requires further independent varification. It could be that I sat down and watched this movie last night. It could also be that I just hallucinated the whole thing on a cloud of PCP smoke. Or as Rudy Ray Moore would have it, “P…C…P AKA ANGel Dust AKA Wack!”

Avenging Disco Godfather stars Rudy Ray Moore, the greatest enunciator who ever lived and the master of alliteration. If you don’t know who Rudy Ray Moore is well then you really should be making better use of your time. Avenging Disco Godfather comes late in The Rudy Ray Moore cycle, when the technical aspects of his filmmaking verged ever closer to competence, and the plotlines of his films verged closer and closer to out and out surrealism (This climaxed in Petey Wheatstraw The Devil’s Son In Law which plays like a ghetto Luis Bunuel film).

After his nephew (not God son…) a promising young basketball player falls victim to the dread P…C…P… (Call the AMB-YOO-LANCE, and tell them what he has HAY-AD!)

Rudy Ray Moore swears to "to personally come down on the suckers that's producing this shit!" and we all know that Rudy Ray Moore isn’t one for idle threats. He goes out on the streets and attacks the wack, with his own brand of Rudy Ray Moore Fu which can charitably be described as “slow” and “uncoordinated” and substantially less lethal then a group of eight year olds in a YMCA white belt class. Some how he manages to use said Moore-Fu to cut a wide swatch through the cities assorted drug dealers, pimps and fodder. Including one gentlemen who I must conclude is the worst hit man of all time. He dresses as a cowboy, uses an antiquated six shooter, and in one particularly logic defying moment (not that there’s not a lot of logic defying moments to choose from in any given Rudy Ray Moore film) puts down his gun when he has the drop on Moore so he can attempt to kill him with the much less efficient bull whip. I’ve seen hitmen who are bad at their jobs before, but never with this same kind of gleeful determination.

 In between his time attacking the wack, Moore runs his Disco where he repeatedly gives his patrons the baffling command “Keep your weight on it!!!”

It’s difficult to describe a Rudy Ray Moore film if you haven’t seen one, as they’re less like traditional movies (even traditional movies in a genre with the lax narrative standards of Blaxploitation) and more like deranged carnival rides, in which sex, violence, stand up, kung fu and anything else that’s cheap to film is put in front of the cameras with little to no provocation. It might not make a great deal of sense but it does make for a great time.

It goes without saying that Avenging Disco Godfather is a pretty awesome movie, and I love it regardless of whether or not it actually exists.