Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Return Of 31 Days Of Horror: # 29 Halloween H20zzzzzzzz

When most people point towards Halloween sequels that aren't wretched, they point to Halloween H20. And while it might not be the series killing, "you must see it to believe it" debacle that was Halloween Resurecction, Halloween H20 is still not very good.

The film gets points for bringing Jamie Lee Curtis back, and look I love Jamie Lee, you love Jamie Lee, we all love Jamie Lee, but it's no fun watching her basically play queen of the harpys. Which she is forced to do, showing none of the backbone that made Laurie Strode such an appealing character to begin with.

And yes, I know she's suffering from post traumatic Shape related stress, I get it, but dear God. Stephen Miner who I should note directed two of my favorite slasher movies of all time, gives things a particularly leaden pace this time out. H20 plays like a Halloween movie on Qualuddes, moving as slowly as Myer's himself.

The rest of the cast is a bunch of Scream money chasers. And LL Cool J, who really kind of sums up the "You know, for the kids." mentality that would eventually end with the franchise beaten and bloody at the fists of Busta Rhymes. Here's the sum total of LL Cool J's roll in the movie.

1. Thirty minutes of bad puns, and him being frightened.
2. He gets shot in the face.
3. He somehow lives.

It's somewhere beyond superfluous sailing into borders of inanity heretofore unknown by the mortal man.

Things do take a turn for the better when Jamie Lee finally nuts up and shuts up and gives Michael the axing he so richly deserves. But by then it's too little too late. If you're looking for a great modern day slasher you should look elsewhere.

1 comment:

robby431 said...

I totally disagree. H20 is great. It is the best of the Halloween sequels!